Lately, God has been dealing with me on how to love His way. To be quite honest with you, I haven’t been doing so well! Some days are better than others. In fact, I am finding more and more just how weak I am with it. I would like to say that because I am a Christian that it is the one thing I do best, but unfortunately it is the one thing I am tested on the most! By the way, you can’t study for these tests given by God. He seems to give pop quizzes when you least expect it with the people you least expect to have a problem loving!
What more is there to say but that I need a lot more homework! However, I choose to look on the brighter side because when you are a Child of God, there is ALWAYS a brighter side!
I have made the choice to love through the hurt because that is when it counts the most! It is about giving up my emotions, feelings or rights and choosing to move past myself and love anyways. Is it easy, NO! Do I want to LOVE all the time, uh… NO! It is easier for me to love myself more because I am an expert at it!-lol But obedience is far greater than sacrifice any day! This is at least what I am learning…slowly!
Love is not an emotion. God’s love is about being obedient to His word. It leaves you challenged and beyond yourself and desperately needing HIS help in the end! Sometimes I am not always willing to align my emotions to God’s love and rather choose to serve myself that day instead of God.
As you can imagine, my altar gets torn down very quickly.For some reason, I keep finding the pieces and re-assembling that darn thing!-lol
What am I learning these days? Well, first of all, I need God to help me love because I don’t have it in me to love without His help! Secondly, I need to bow the knee to the process of allowing the refining fire to burn at just the right temperature so that I don’t have to stay here too long!-lol. Thirdly, this is God’s work and not my own work! Lord knows that I don’t have the power to change this heart of mine, only He does. I have learned that I can’t trust my heart and that is why I need to be placing it on the altar of grace daily. More like placing it on the altar and stomping like grapes to get a good wine to come forth!- At the very least, it is humbling to admit but at the same time, it is empowering too because I am being stretched to a new level of love and grace that I could not get to on my own. Where I am weak, He is strong! God loves me enough to take me higher, from glory to glory is what they say! For me, it is more like from just day to day!
My life is in His hands. It always has been and always will be. Sure, I can choose to move out of His path for awhile because I don’t want to deal with the process but I have learned quickly that it does me no good to stray. In fact, it just keeps me held back longer. I just need to get over myself! Wish it were that easy!-lol
I look forward to the day when I don’t struggle with all this “junk” in me! I look forward to the day when all my tears will be wiped away. However, there is joy and peace within me because I know God is at work! Isn’t He always? Really, isn’t this about the Kingdom and not me?
In the mean time, I will just keep moving on, keeping my head up. I will choose not to let people or life bring me down. I will not be brought down by the cares of this world or by my circumstances but rather be made by them instead! Recently, I read, “A True warrior is made in the heat of battle!” I simply loved that! When the going gets tough, I will choose to stand firm in my faith and fight and NOT get going!!! I am soldier for Christ!
I have a purpose in this life and I will do whatever it takes to fulfill it with God’s help. I will not be distracted by the everyday but be attracted to God’s promises over my life! I know WHOM I will serve this day- do you?
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